June 24, 2012

All I Know

I’ve had a couple chances to experience life taking some unexpected turns. New cities, new jobs, new directions. And although I knew the Lord was clearly directing each path, it was still a challenge to face the unknown.  I can definitely look back on these “corners” I rounded thankful for the paths the Lord has led me down…but it definitely took some courage at times to follow.

During one of these first experiences, I discovered a song with lyrics that overwhelmingly assured me to keep stepping.  The song has been burned on to several cds and played over and over again since.  Recently, a friend was facing a similar experience...she knew she was walking obediently, following God, but the steps were hard to keep taking in an unknown direction.  I shared this song with her and she said it has become her “theme” song for the time being.

The song, “All I Know” by Ian White.

The powerful words:

Though I feel afraid of territory unknown

I know that I can say

That I do not stand alone

For Jesus, You have promised

Your presence in my heart

I cannot see the ending

But it's here that I must start

And all I know is You have called me,

And that I will follow is all I can say,

I will go where You will send me

And Your fire lights my way

What lies across the waves

May cause my heart to fear

Will I survive the day?

Must I leave what's known and dear?

A ship that's in the harbor

Is still and safe from harm

But it was not built to be there

It was made for wind and storm.

There’s so much I could elaborate upon….but for today, I rest in the word picture of the ship in the harbor…never meant to stay there forever, but purposed to sail even through wind and storm.

Even if that’s “All I know,” that most certainly is enough.

June 20, 2012

Leaving it up to God


"I would rather be what God chose to make me than the most glorious creature that I could think of; for to have been thought about, born in God's thought, and then made by God, is the dearest, grandest, and most precious thing in all thinking."     George MacDonald

I love this quote by George MacDonald. Pause for a moment.  Think about those words again…

To be THOUGHT about.

BORN in God’s thought.

And then MADE by God.

Absolutely “the dearest, grandest, and most precious thing in all thinking.”

And to take it a step further….

I’d rather be living the life the Lord has scripted for me rather than what I think sounds the most exciting or what I’ve decided is best for me.  I tend to get a pretty tight grip around my own plans.  More often than not, unclenching my fist is the hardest part since I think I know best.  Yet, time after time, the Lord reveals His perfection in His planning.  You’d think I would have that lesson learned by now…but each go round seems like I’m questioning all over again whether or not He really knows best.

So here’s to another day and another chance to remind myself that I really DO prefer His way to mine. 

June 12, 2012

The oxymoron of being known...

Want a challenge?  Try explaining the word “oxymoron” to a child.  Sure, a great first stab at the explanation is using some examples: almost exactly, freezer burn, definitely maybe, seriously funny, pretty ugly, jumbo shrimp, or silent scream.  In fact, there are websites that list hundreds of common oxymorons we use in everyday conversations.

How about a life oxymoron? Perhaps not a grammatical oxymoron made of two words, but one of those paradoxical ways we live life:  The desire to be known inside and out all the while attempting to hide who we truly are for fear of other people's perceptions of us or the fear of not being loved for who we are.

Resonate?  Recognizable to anyone?

See the irony? Yes, more than two words, more than a mere oxymoron, but the essence is the same.  A desire to be known, all the while pouring heart and soul into perfecting a perception of who we think we should be.  The perceptions we adorn can be wrapped in clothing, jobs, location, political stances, or how bold we are in standing for the Lord.  If we give off the “right” perception, then the “right people” will want to know us. Right?

And if the “right” people get to know us….well, is there anything better than being known by the “right” people? (But wait….they don’t really know us, they just know the “right” perception of us). 

Back to being known.  Not by the “right” front we put on, but really being known.

Last week I was at a professional development training listening to an incredible speaker who illustrated a point about how we all want to be known.  Living in the East, she referred to riding on the subway, noticing a stranger deeply engrossed in a book that she had just read.  She commented on her overwhelming desire to make eye contact with the stranger just to suggest a familiarity because of a shared interest in a book.   Her point she was making was the innate desire to be known….that even with strangers we look for connections just to find someone who understands us.

We want to be known. So why the masks? Why the analyzing of our actions? Why the guarding of ourselves at times?  Why pretend to be someone we are not?  Not consistently necessarily, but certainly at times.

So that we can become known…

The oxymoron of being known but not for who we really are on the inside.

Reminder: God knows me inside and out.  Regardless of any person I pretend to be.

I just don’t think I can be reminded of this truth enough:

Psalm 139 (1-5, 13-16)

¹ “You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.
² You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
³ You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.
⁴ Before a word is on my tongue
    you, Lord, know it completely.
⁵ You hem me in behind and before,
    and you lay your hand upon me…

¹³ For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be…”

Thankfully, I am already known.

June 5, 2012

Thoughts from yesterday = Thoughts from today

One of my (too) many goals for the summer:  Purging closets.  I’ve just barely begun and already I’m realizing why it is going to take more of my summer than I intended…I keep pausing when I find new discoveries that have been buried for a year, or two, or longer.

One of the recent finds was a journal from high school.  It’s more of a writer’s notebook than a journal, one that I filled with some ramblings and a few attempts at poetry. 

Here’s one of them:

PREPARING

It is not just a matter of

stopping the mail,

packing the suitcases,

or saying a few goodbyes.

No, this journey is different.

It takes a different preparation.

It requires self-sacrifice,

time, commitment,

and most of all…love.

But it is well worth it in the end.

‘Cuz when you reach your destination

You’ll know the truth

And what God’s love is all about.

So my senior year of high school I was thinking of life with the Lord as a journey…the destination, heaven.  A few more chapters of the story have been written since then, but the essence of the words I wrote hasn’t changed.  If anything, I just believe them even more.

I’m blessed to be on this journey, whatever the next chapter may bring.